Another World, A Better World

[Disclaimer: spoilers for the film "Cloud Atlas," The Dark Tower book series, and the television series "Lost."]

I've been very open about my not having a religion, never quite fitting the system of any existing organized beliefs group. My one true and honest belief in this world is that believing something does not make it right or so, but it says everything about who one is as a person. Religion is good when it is used the right way, to cope with the hardships of life and to feel that everything has a purpose. I think that religion's main purpose is to console us from the great mystery at the end of our roads: death. It is the one place we cannot come back from and tell our friends and family about. What is after life?

That is a trailer for one of my favorite films, "Cloud Atlas." I cannot recommend enough that you watch the movie if you haven't, but the trailer sets up what I'm about to say just fine. Throughout the film we are introduced to multiple characters across six different stories. The trick of the film is that the same actors carry over into each others' stories portraying different people. What the film stresses in many of the character cases, though, is that they are the same or similar people each time. Similar traits are exhibited repeatedly by the characters played by Tom Hanks, especially. Whereas the characters of actors Hugo Weaving and Hugh Grant are consistently villainous -- in fact becoming less and less human the farther we go into the future of the timeline -- Tom Hanks's characters show a natural and necessary growth. The first chronological story, "The Pacific Journal of Adam Ewing," has Hanks as Dr. Henry Goose, a thieving and treacherous doctor who slowly poisons Jim Sturgess's Ewing while feigning treatment on him. Goose is after Ewing's gold, and is seen pilfering items off of Ewing's person throughout the process. When next we see Hanks he is a hotel manager who allows Ben Wishaw's character a room if he gives him his decorated vest in exchange. He is seen admiring the buttons of the vest, just as Goose admired and stole the buttons off of Ewing's vest in the previous story. A later segment shows Hanks as an Irish gangster character whose brief scene involves him murdering a literary critic. The final story has Hanks as Zachry, a native man who is a coward, allowing his brother-in-law to be killed by savages when he could have intervened. We still see the temptations of a thief in Zachry throughout the story, but in the end he finds his courage and saves the life of his niece. For the most part, Hanks's character is on a journey of redemption over the course of the film's timeline, constantly being reborn until he can achieve his full and true purpose in the world. The villainous Henry Goose becomes the heroic Zachry in the end.

What the film describes is a belief that every single person in the world has a purpose, a standard to achieve. It just sometimes takes multiple lifetimes to reach that potential. The television series "Lost" touched upon this subject matter with the character of Jacob, an immortal man who uses his mystical powers to guide people of certain character to his island where they are given the chance to redeem any past sins and achieve their true purpose in life. However, Jacob's experiments are constantly foiled by his brother, The Man in Black, who dedicates himself to proving Jacob wrong and that humanity is doomed and people cannot change.
"They come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same," The Man in Black tells his brother.
Jacob calmly replies, "It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress."
Unlike his brother, Jacob always looks for the best in people. He looks at every failure as progress towards the eventual success.

Stephen King writes on the topic of repeated chances over the course of many lifetimes in his massive fantasy series The Dark Tower. At the end of the final novel, after hero Roland's ka-tet (fellowship) have all been killed or sent away, he finally reaches the giant and omnipotent Dark Tower, to which he had been guided towards his entire life. Upon reaching the top, however, and opening the final door, he is suddenly struck with brief deja vu. He realizes too late that he had reached the tower before, hundreds of times or more, and he is transported through the doorway to where he was at the very start of the series: in the middle of a desert following his foe, The Man in Black (not to be confused with the aforementioned character on "Lost"). Roland has no memories of the adventure we read about over the course of seven books, and he picks up exactly where we started with him. This time, however, he has an item he did not have before: the horn of his childhood friend and fellow gunslinger Cuthbert, lost when the latter was slain in battle. The horn here signifies that Roland has made progress in his ultimate quest, but he still has many more lifetimes to repeat until he does it all right. Every failure or poor choice he makes along the way to the Tower curses him to repeat it all again at the end. We as the readers never learn whether Roland is ever free from this terrible cycle, but by giving Roland his late friend's horn King shows us a glimmer of hope that Roland is on his way.

The belief that we repeat ourselves over and over again across distant lifetimes and even universes is about as close to a religious belief that I get. Life is simply too short to get everything done, too brief to really discover who we are and what we are fully capable of. There is only one true ending ahead of us, one that transcends even death, and I believe that we are slowly but surely working towards it. Only when we do will we find peace and satisfaction in life, and eventually, in death too.

"I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there,"
Tyler

One Blaze of Glory

I may or may not have mentioned that I was fortunate enough to perform in a local production of RENT in my home-ish town of Syracuse. I brought it up in passing in my last post but I felt that those few sentences just didn't do it justice. So naturally I'm dedicating an entire post to it so you'll just have to shut up and read. Or don't, if you don't want to. But you should, 'cause I'll hate you otherwise. I've unfriended people from Facebook before and don't think I'll hesitate to do it again. 

So enjoy the read!

Our story begins in January after hearing from two different friends that a theatre company in Syracuse was going to be holding auditions for RENT. Now, I've been a RENT fan since high school and had dreamed of playing the characters Mark or Roger ever since then, so naturally I was excited beyond words. I even purposely didn't tell some of my other actor/singer friends about the auditions to cut down on competition for the roles I wanted. Sorry friends, but welcome to the world of community theatre. So anyways I debate with myself between singing a song from the show or something else. I'd heard the director preferred songs from the show, but I didn't want to chance it. So I decided to sing "Don't Do Sadness" from the musical Spring Awakening as I figured the character of Moritz Stiefel from that show allowed me to showcase my ability to play either the awkward nerdy Mark as well as the intense, hard rocker Roger. 

I go into the audition space, sing my song, grow more nervous when I'm asked to sing it a second time with less body movements, and then the director (Garrett Heater; he's the best) asks me that, if cast, I would prefer the role of Roger or Mark. Talk about a tough question to answer, but I decided that in the end my voice was a better suited for Roger and tell him that. I figured that him asking me that was a good sign, but other than that I had no real notion of how I did. I then left and had the most anxious two weeks of my life as I awaited a call from Garrett about my audition. One day I get a call from a number I don't recognize and, assuming it was him, I let it go to voicemail, not ready to hear potential bad news yet. Later I listen to the voicemail and hear that I'd been chosen to play the role of Roger. Jumping and cheering soon followed.

Months later the cast has its first rehearsal, which was especially nerve-wracking for me as we were scheduled to rehearse two songs that I was heavily featured in. This would be the first time the cast would hear me sing and I was ridiculously nervous. Like, what if I turned out to not be what they had in mind? After convincing myself that I wouldn't be in the cast if they didn't want me there, I walked into rehearsal and just sang. To my delight, they liked me.

It was a grueling rehearsal process for me, having to rush right to the rehearsal space from work every day, usually only half-awake. My voice wasn't always up to the task after a 13 hour shift. Then there was delving right into the romantic scenes with the actress playing Mimi who I barely knew at all at that point that frankly made me kind of uncomfortable (but now we're friends so YAY!!!). Finally I just said "fuck it" to myself and realized I was supposed to be an actor and just began committing to every single scene and action as best as I could. 

                                                   And especially committing to those pants.

Sure the rehearsals and proving my worth as a singer/actor to myself and others was rewarding, but even more than that was the cast I was lucky enough to be a part of. I've never been a part of such a talented and friendly and diverse group of people who gave their all into every little action, the tiniest of moments, and the smallest of facial expressions. Because of an upcoming orgy scene we would be blocking soon, the cast decided to have a bonding session one weekend, the events of which I am sworn to secrecy about. Now I don't know if that was what really brought us all into an unbreakable familial bond, but ever since then we'd been nearly inseparable. Not only among the cast, but our director Garrett and everyone else in the crew as well. It was just the best group of people to work with.

My fellow actors, though, were an inspiration to stand alongside of. All along I wanted to portray a darker, more intense character of Roger than was typically done. Funnily enough, Garrett must have had the same vision as many of my acting notes went along with the character I wanted to play. Roger is a terribly underwritten character and him and I both wanted to bring out the darker, honest side of him. In a great twist of fate, everyone else in the cast wanted to do the same thing with their own character. That was what made this production better than any other I've seen; it was the honesty we all portrayed, which is something that is missing in contemporary musicals, I feel. 

                                               Ladies and gentlemen, we invite you to cry with us.

But yeah, when it came to going to those kinds of places for the sake of acting, things got pretty dark on stage. Garrett told us one rehearsal that if we didn't leave a part of ourselves behind in this show, then we didn't do our job right. So, I feel like we all did our jobs pretty well. I've admittedly never been able to cry onstage for a show, but my tear cherry was successfully popped in this one. All I had to do was look over at my buddy Max (playing Collins) while he sang the heartbreaking "I'll Cover You (Reprise)" and the tear dam was broken.

                                                                Pictured: acting.

Honestly I could write an individual post about every single actor in this production, but that wouldn't be very good writing/editing skills if I went on and on like this. You guys were fan-fucking-tastic! Especially you! Yeah, you!

Finally when it came time to put on the show for an audience, the nerves began coming in. My voice had been iffy that entire week of rehearsals and I wasn't sure how I would do that night. I drank nothing but tea and honey all day, and between every scene I was pouring honey down my throat. It must have done the trick because I felt awesome that night, and the audience loved the show. Only a few days later the entire remainder of the run was sold out. The reviews we got in the paper were extremely positive, calling our show the most emotional production the reviewer had ever seen. I was ecstatic to see that I had gotten a positive mention in one review, especially since I had never been mentioned period in a review before. I was on top of the world.

Roger was the first lead I've ever played in a musical. Well, more of a co-lead with the character of Mark, actually. After multiple auditions hoping to land the lead and getting cast in roles with less and less singing parts I had almost given up on it completely, accepting that my singing voice was just not up to the standards of a musical. There just didn't seem to be a place in Syracuse for a man with a rocker-style singing voice. Getting cast in this role really boosted my confidence in my abilities. I can't help but think that I may never have an opportunity like this role again, at least for a long, long time. That was why the song "One Song Glory" meant so much to me in the show; this role could be my "one blaze of glory." If that be the case, it was a great one. I'll keep on trying, though, because I finally have the confidence now to keep on going. No matter what, though, I know I'll never have an experience like this show in my life again, with this cast and this director and just the atmosphere of the show. So thank you, Garrett, the Covey Theatre Company (named Best Community Theatre in Syracuse, motherfuckers!!!), my cast that is my family now, and Jonathan Larson for writing this show so long ago. 

It's time now to sing out

Though the story never ends

Let's celebrate, remember a year

In the life of friends

And in case you missed the show, in turn setting yourself up for a life full of regret, here is a little video clip from opening night of the song "What You Own," featuring myself and Brett Roden.

It's gonna be a happy new year,

Tyler

P.S. Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson is now playing Wednesday-Saturday nights at 8:00pm at the Redhouse in downtown Syracuse and you should go. I'm in it with two of my fellow RENT alumni and we're all amazing!

The Road So Far...

This week's post comes to you courtesy of bullshit. I really didn't have time to think up anything meaningful to write about, but before I sat down to just hammer the keys into decently-formed sentences and see what happened, I realized that I never explained to you readers what occurred in my life between my hiatus and the blog's revival, and after all, if you're bothering to read anything I post, you all just wanna know everything about me. So here we go: my life from January 2013 until September 2013.

And you're required to play this while you read:

JANUARY

When I left you all I had been talking about how I was recently cast in a production of RENT as Roger, and was then desperately looking for employment. Well, since I had a long wait ahead of me until RENT started I decided to try out for the annual production of Jesus Christ Superstar here in Syracuse. I went in, sang "I Want to Break Free" from the musical We Will Rock You, and secured a nice role in the ensemble. I wanted to play Judas or Simon, but considering the talents of the guys who did land those parts I wasn't too bummed in the end. I did get a cool solo as a Priest in "This Jesus Must Die," one of my favorite songs from the show. But wait: a last minute recasting brought in Tony-nominee Philip Boykin to fill in as Caiaphas, meaning I would get to be on stage with him in that song and singing to him. A Broadway dude. So that was awesome. He's a real nice guy. Also, my killer beard made a grand return to my face for the show.
Oh, and somewhere in that time period I got a job as a host at an Olive Garden. I'd like to forget that experience as much as possible so we'll leave it at that.

FEBRUARY

Um...not much. Single Awareness Day came and went. I did my usual act of listening to The Smiths and wallowing in single despair. Alone. Oh, and the Groundhog Day marathon on Groundhog Day. That was awesome.
Jesus Christ Superstar rehearsals still going on.
Still at Olive Garden. Hadn't yet gone postal.

MARCH

Woohoo more theatre auditions!!! I tried out for a bunch of shows at the Red House Arts Center received multiple callbacks for further readings and singings. Jesus Christ Superstar had its one and only performance on the 31st and was awesome as expected. I managed to make some new friends out of the show and had an all around great time in one of my favorite shows.

APRIL

Red House got back to me and I learned I was cast in their productions of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson and Dog Sees God as ensemble and Matt, respectively. Also, that SyFy Channel film Battledogs I worked on last fall had its television premiere, and my background cameo was in plain sight. It's also streaming on Netflix currently; look for me around the 14 minute mark. I'm wearing black scrubs and looking cold.
Later this month I managed to catch a show starring my good friend Amanda called Suds, a '60s jukebox musical. She was fantastic, of course. She always is. Girl's gonna be famous.

                                                   Yeah, we're cooler than you. Deal with it.

MAY

I went up to Buffalo to celebrate my birthday for the night. One of the few things I remember is almost lighting the bartender on fire. I spent the next day with the girls moaning and writhing on the floor and couches before driving home.
Also I was offered my old position at W.B. Mason back so I quit Olive Garden faster than you can say...like, anything. However, my shifts go from 6:00am 'til when-the-fuck-ever. So...that catches up with you.

JUNE

I start rehearsals for RENT, and that and work become my life from now through...

JULY

...until...

AUGUST

And I wish I had the time to properly explain just how amazing the experience was, but I don't, so here's a picture.

                                                That's me in the pants. You know which pants.

I tell you, I've been in a lot of shows, but the people in this cast were some of the best people I've ever been lucky to meet, let alone perform on stage with. It was a time I'll never forget. Also every show was sold out, so that fucking rocked.

SEPTEMBER

I restarted the blog and started rehearsals for Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. So that gets us all caught up, really. And now I can actually say I'm sticking to my one-post-a-week promise. So, it's win/win, right? Now, let's see if I can stick to that policy next week when I start my 12 hour weekend rehearsals. I really can't promise anything, so...hey, find something else to read.


Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog,
Tyler


P.S. Idris Elba is the fucking man and if you disagree I will fight you.

Wake Me in Time to Be Lonely and Sad

Good morning readers! It's not morning when I write this, and it may or may not be morning when you read this, but someone somewhere is just waking up, I know it. My plan for my Blog Comeback Tour was to write a new post every Sunday night. However, tomorrow night I begin rehearsals for the next show I'm in, "Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson," and once that starts I will only be half-existing in the conscious world until October. See, rehearsals go until 10-11 at night, and it takes me 45 minutes to drive home after, and I get up at 4:30-5 Mondays through Fridays for work, and will be going straight to rehearsals after my shifts now, so...if you see me on the street just don't talk to me unless I have a cup of coffee in my hand.

                                                        This will be me on a good day.

But this post is not about my slow, painful death from exhaustion. No, today we're going to talk about escaping from that shit. One of my very first posts was about my dreams and how beyond fucked up they are. This post will be a sort of continuation of that one, but on a different theme entirely. You see, I may complain about how my subconscious makes me question my sanity, and how I'll unfortunately never be able to try LSD for fear of my head having a Scanners moment, but at the end of the day I love my dreams because they're not my real life.

You're confused? You stupid motherfucker, I'll explain it, then. Most of the time when I'm dreaming, I'm not even in the dream, if that makes any sense. It's just my eyes watching something unfold in my mind, like watching a movie that no one else could ever write because they wouldn't even know how to have it make sense. I see characters that either I thought up, have seen in other movies, or that I know personally, and they're all running around from monsters or shooting each other or just doing cool shit. And where am I during all of this? Up in the air, gliding over all, watching these scenes unfold.

                                                           "Aw man, I wanna play too!"

So what? you may be asking. So you get to watch cool movies in your sleep. My dreams do that too sometimes. Yeah, but I'm not saying that I'm the only guy who does it. Maybe I do it best, but I can't be the only one who has dreams like that. What I'm saying is those dreams are really cool because they defy what is available to us in the real world. Those dream movies are perfect because they are everything I want in entertainment without the restrictions of money or special effects or actor availability. They are an escape from our earthly limitations, a brief moment of perfection. And isn't that just wonderful when we can get it?

I'm not saying I'd rather live in my dreams than in reality, but I kind of am. It's just, I've been very, very unlucky in my affections throughout my life, and whenever I get a dream where I'm spending some time with a girl or kissing her or fighting off monsters with her, it's one that I'm just devastated to wake up from. I've mentioned before that I never have sex dreams per-say, but what I have is so much better in the long run, I think. I'll dream about a girl I like and we'll just be hanging out somewhere, getting dinner or a drink and just talking. I'll kiss her maybe, and that's just the fucking best because it'll feel so real. Then when I wake up I remember that whoever I just dreamed about is not my girlfriend, whether she was a friend or a celebrity.

For example, the other night I had a dream that I was hanging around with Lea Michele, 'cause we knew each other somehow (it's a dream, reasons be damned). She was sad about something so I hugged her in a comforting manner, and the next thing you know we're locking lips. It was amazing, and now I suddenly have a crush on Lea Michele. I mean, before I just thought she was hot, but it's different now.

                                                      I love a girl with coffee in her hand.

I've had another dream similar to that one, although there was no making out at the end of it. It involved myself and some friends including a girl I'd just met, and we were all hanging out in some big park at night. The girl and I broke away from the group because she needed to talk to me about something I don't remember, but it was just the two of us walking through this park in the dark with the little path lights glowing around us. I don't remember what we talked about, I just remember being there with her and not wanting to leave. In the end, as my dreams seem to show me, more than a relationship I just want to be able to be there for someone I care about when she needs someone.

Before things get too serious, though, some of the girls I've completely dreamt up have been pretty awesome dream-girlfriends too. There was Dawn, the super hot Asian girl who I was in a group of freedom fighters with, and Krystal, a princess who I rescued from some weird mutant guy in a shopping mall (after various failed attempts. I died a lot in that dream). I started to make things happen with this one girl in my infamous post-apocalyptic LARP quest dream until a treacherous Steve Buscemi started some shit. Seriously guys, if you want some hilarious and spine-tingling entertainment you need to check out my Dream Logs I used to post on my Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/tyler.ianuzi/notes

There are a lot of them, I know, but they're good. You'll wish you had my dreams, too.

As with all forms of escapism, though, these little excursions all must come to an end. I wake up from these magnificent visions and I'm still in my bed at home, about to go to work and continue my boring, single life. But hey, there's always the chance for another one the next night, right? Lately I've been having dreams featuring Benedict Cumberbatch, though, so the jury's still out on the significance of that.

                                                 "Oh stop pretending you don't like it, Tyler."

Hopefully I'll be able to write something for next week too, but there can be no promises. This is going to be one busy theatre guy for a while. But hey, living the dream, right?

Dream until your dreams come true,
Tyler

P.S. So Breaking Bad last week. Holy shit, right?

I'll Never Turn Back Time

I don't mean to generalize or make assumptions, but I think you're lying if you think the following isn't true: we all have those moments or entire years we feel we'd like to go back and do better on. I, for instance, wish that I had been a goth in high school. I loved the color black and always thought the gothic style was really cool. Plus, I had a thing for goth chicks. However, I never really had the gothic mentality, or money to spend on the clothes/chains. But hey, gothic or not, teenage me was still pretty cool.

                                                                    Coolness

In all seriousness though, while it's fun to imagine being a completely different person all those years ago, there isn't much I'd want to change. I had a great group of people in my circle and was able to do more or less all of the things I wanted to do in high school. I can't look back on my high school years with any real regret. Even my awful bummer of a senior year I believe helped mature me into who I am now. Although, if I could do it all again, I definitely would have at least asked that girl out.

Or would I have?
Now wait a minute, Tyler -- yes, I'm talking to myself but bear with me -- don't you still have trouble asking girls out to this day? What makes you think you'll have any better luck finding the balls to ask her out the second time around?
Well, I...I...don't know. I just figured the second time's a charm, you know? That's what second chances are all about, aren't they?

It's easy to think that way, though. We convince ourselves that, had we just gotten one more chance to do something over, we would've done it right. We tell ourselves: "if I could go back to high school I would bury my face in my books and get into a better college," or "if I could do college again I would focus only on my classes and then get a better job than the one I have now." Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, no, you wouldn't, because the minute you touch back down into your high school or college years, you'd have the exact same feelings about work you did back then. You'd sit down to read that textbook when your buddies call you up to go bowling, and just like the first go round out the door you go, leaving the reading for another day. You get back to your dorm and decide to get a head start on that 8-pager due at the end of the month when you get a text: "yo dawg we hittin up teh bars lol lets get krunked brah!!1!". Yeah, you're going drinking, 'cause fuck that paper, you'll write it tomorrow, or the night before it's due, you don't care. You're young and will live forever. When you're older you'll look back fondly on the fun you had and not the papers you bullshitted, 'cause that was how you were in your school atmosphere. You could go back in time with the knowledge you have now and try to do it different, but when placed back in the same place with the same homework and the same friends inviting you out for another night of your life, you'll do exactly what you did all those years ago. It wouldn't be you if you did anything else.

                                                         This still would've happened.

I'm not proud of a lot of things in my past, but knowing that there's no other way they could've played at least makes me feel better about what happens now. There's more I could've done but there were reasons why I didn't, and those reasons don't change the second time around. I didn't ask that girl out in high school because I was scared of being rejected, and I didn't study harder because I simply wasn't interested. I spent more time with the theatre club at college than focusing on my major because I was frankly more interested in that. Also drinking. But put me on the spot in front of that girl today and I'd still chicken out and I'd still say "fuck it" to that essay and go get cast in a play or something. To quote one of my favorite songs by Green Day:

"The regrets are useless in my mind."

And that's really the truth, because there is no going back in time. There are no do overs. Whatever happened happened and you acted accordingly with what you thought was right (or wrong but fun anyways) at the time. Your strengths and your flaws can be traced back to that time but that's you now and you're stuck with it. Do I think some things would be better in my life had I done things a little differently? Absolutely. But would I be any better? Who can say? But I'm satisfied with myself. I'm smarter now from the mistakes I've made, and I'm driven more now to do the things I didn't do before. Life, unfortunately, is one giant learning curve, and the prize at the end is self-satisfaction (the good kind). I won't ever have the chance to ask that girl out now, but you know what? Since then I've asked many girls out, and...still nothing, but at least I've tried, dammit, and that's more than that 15 year-old dork with the stupid Anton Chigurh haircut ever did. But it could've been worse, I think. I could've endured some terrible relationships and come out a bitter, misogynistic jerk off like some people I know. Am I sad that I've been unlucky in my many affections? Yes, but never bitter. And girls dig that, I think.

So in short, "forget regret, or life is yours to miss." And there's no such thing as time travel so quit actin' a bitch and move on.

See you in another world, brotha,
Tyler

P.S. If you're really my friend you should have a leather jacket.

Don't Feel Bad for Me, I Want You to Know

Hello again. Some of you may remember that sometime last fall I started a weekly blog and then inexplicably stopped after a few months. Well, here's an explanation at last. If you new readers go back far enough to my first post, you'll get a real good idea of why I started the blog in the first place, as a coping mechanism for that depression thing I was doing in my spare time. After a while my life started to really pick up and I realized I just didn't need the blog anymore to get through the once rough days. Well, fear not, loyal readers, for the blog MUST RETURN!

No, I'm not depressed again. Well...no, nothing's definite, but there have been many a great change in my life since I shut the blog down and many more ch-ch-changes to come in the near-future, and with them the need to chronicle them. Also, it's good practice for my writing, which I've been slacking on, so maybe a weekly exercise like this will help get me back on track. And since I'm a bit of a shut-in, this will help you all continue to get to know me better when we're not Skype-drinking, or drinking downtown, or having a couple beers while...boy I drink a lot, huh? 

So you old readers may notice this blog has a new name. I decided to change it 'cause fuck that old name. I'm using my soon-to-be-old Tumblr name, once I actually take the time to delete my profile and never return to that God forsaken site. I may blog about my new crusade against Tumblr in future posts, but for now I just wanted to write an introduction to PHASE 2 of my blogging. This way I'll have no choice but to post again soon. Seriously, I've been trying to start this up again for the past month but always lost focus. Writing's hard, brah. 

To satisfy you until my first official new post, please enjoy this video of the best thing ever:

                              

                                                   Do you got the moves like Jagger?

Good night Denise!

Tyler

P.S. I'm now the proud owner of a pair of red plaid skinny jeans. And honey, you should see me in 'em.

There Will Be No Scripts on the Night

About a week ago I received some exciting news in that I had been cast to play Roger in a local production of RENT in Syracuse. I'm more than ecstatic over this as since high school it has been my dream to portray Roger in the show, and assuming those Philadelphian mobsters don't catch up to me between now and then that dream will be coming true this summer. I mean, yeah, I have higher aspirations than community theatre, but for artistic reasons this is a great start for me. It's made me reflect on my long history in theatre and acting, the bad times and the worse, and boy, have I learned a lot that I wish everyone could know right out the gate. Things such as:

1. Your castmates will fuck up

And you will never be prepared for it, so you just gotta shit your pants and dive in and swim. My most memorable incident like this occurred in my middle school musical The Music Man. I was playing Tommy Djilas, and the scene called for me to run out onto stage, get caught and held back while the Mayor chews me out, then get inadvertently introduced to the Mayor's daughter to go on a date, resulting in a wacky misunderstanding that gets young Tommy into trouble down the road. Here's what happened instead. I run out onto stage from the wing, I'm stopped by other cast members. The kid playing the Mayor approaches me for the one-sided screaming match. "Tommy Djilas!" he begins, "...What are you doing?" This was not his line. He stopped speaking altogether. There was silence. Nobody was stepping up to save the scene. I did the only thing I could think to do. I replied, "Jeely Kly, I don't know!" And that was the extent of my improv skills. Following my brief but brilliant added-on-the-fly line the scene continued with 10 second stretches of silence interrupted by a kid saying something, ANYTHING, just to stop the awkward. Finally the kid playing Harold Hill managed to fumble his way to one of his actual lines and allow me to run off to the other side of the stage where he would then call me back to him. I hear no line signaling I should return so I just keep going off into the wings. Meanwhile the Mayor's daughter had walked onstage, stood around awkwardly, and then left. Those on stage dispersed, and despite nothing being set up, or even actually happening in the scene, the kid playing a cop still finished the scene with his line, "Well Mr. Hill, you did make one mistake. That was the mayor's daughter." Audience silence. Can't blame them, I'd be wondering what the fuck just happened too.

2. You will fuck up

And you won't be prepared for this either. If there's one part in your dialogue you know you always forget and so focus on getting that right, chances are you'll forget some other line that you remembered every time. The first time I had ever forgotten a line it blew my mind. I had been flawless up until that point, but it was during junior year of high school in the drama production of Rest Assured, a shitty little "comedy" that rips off It's a Wonderful Life, only the protagonist discovers that everyone is actually a lot better off without him. I couldn't care any less about this show than I already did, and maybe that's why the line just fell out of my head. I was supposed to tell someone that the protagonist is "walking in his sleep." Instead, I keep silent, waiting for whatever idiot was late on his or her line. The protagonist's wife, after a brief pause, says to me, "What's he doing, George? Is he walking in his sleep or something?" Alerted to my mistake, I use my acting genius to cover myself as if there was no mistake at all and reply, "He's...walking in his...sleep." See? Like nothing ever happened.
Another time, in the same goddamn play I couldn't give a shit about, I was supposed to enter a scene with a girl as soon as I heard a cue line. The only thing was, all of this guy's lines sounded the same and I entered on the wrong one. I walk on with the girl but before I can speak I see another cast member step forth to say her monologue, you know, 'cause she actually knows what she's doing. I mutter a curse under my breath, turn to the panicked face of the girl I dragged on with me, and then start miming that we're talking...for 10 goddamned minutes until my line actually comes up.

3. Your family is only there to watch you

Whenever I'm in a show, that show and the people I'm acting with are the best things in the world to me. If I'm really into the show, everything we do feels like Broadway. My co-stars are Daniel Day-Lewis and Robert Downey, Jr. The choreography is spot-on and beautiful. The orchestra is worthy of playing with John Williams. Needless to say, unless you're actually in a professional show, this is almost always not the case, but I love it regardless. Whenever I'm in a show, I'm excited for my family and friends to come see the show. Not just to see me, but because I want them to see how great the show as a whole is, and how amazing and talented everyone else in the cast is, or see how hot my female co-star is. It's making the show as whole entertaining to watch that helps me perform as well as I do. Then after curtain call and when the cast goes out to meet the audience, I make a beeline for my family. I get loads of "You were so great" and Congratulations hun" before I ask them back, "Did you like so-and-so?" or "Wasn't that dance that I wasn't in awesome?" I get nods and "Uh-huhs" as a response before they delve into more compliments meant just for me. My favorite has been "I wish you hadn't died so early," which I've actually heard more than once. At this point I just don't need a shower of compliments for myself, I'm confident enough in my abilities that I no longer need constant reassurance. What I want is for them to enjoy a show I was a part of aside form the fact that I'm in it. The ultimate test of this was when I directed my college production of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, where I wasn't in it at all. I know my family enjoyed it, I just didn't hear it vocalized enough as if I had been in it.

4. Funny shit will happen

It is inevitable. Whether it is a result of you or others messing up or just a wacky happenstance, you will come away from every show with a hysterical memory that you will tell everybody you know twice. In Romeo & Juliet I was legitimately stabbed by Romeo, on 3 different occasions. On a show night for R&J a tech member was still onstage when the lights came up. He stood perfectly still in his jeans and t-shirt while men dressed in tights and petticoats walked around him speaking in Shakespearean dialect before making his escape to the wings. During a practice sword fight for I Hate Hamlet I accidentally stabbed my sword straight through the wall. On opening night of Deathtrap the lights came up on me typing but there was no paper in my typewriter, but I committed to typing on nothing throughout the entire scene like a pro. Yeah, people noticed. In Grease the car got caught on a curtain and nearly tore down the backdrop, leading to us jumping in with gems like "Nice driving, Kenickie!" and "Dude, you hit Marty's house!" Also in that show the girl playing Sandy, when asked how she was liking her new school, answered with a line meant to be used when asked about coleslaw and said, "It smells kinda funny." And during a rehearsal a guy's pants split in the back at the end of a huge dance number. Actually, there is an endless supply of hilarious instances from that show, especially that time a girl got dehydrated and was throwing up in the bathroom between all of her scenes. Hmm, actually that wasn't funny at all. She had to go to the hospital after.

5. You will kiss someone in a show

Whether you're the romantic lead type or not (I'm certainly not) there will come a play or musical where you will lock lips with someone. I stress the word "someone." Your makeout partner will not always be your ideal choice. You may get cast as the love interest to someone who you would much rather kick in the eye, or someone who has a crush on you who you'd rather didn't. In rare cases, you'll have to kiss someone of the same sex. I have. It was weird. But ever once in a while you'll get cast as a co-kisser to someone you've only dreamt of getting to first base with. I have. It was awesome.

6. You will work with people you hate

This is unavoidable, unfortunately. Even in the most perfect casts there will that one or two that you just hate being closer than a stick's length to. Even worse, this can affect your performance. Oh yes. For an example I was in a show once where my character was supposed to hate two other characters. One of the actors I got along with really well, but the other I legitimately despised. Funnily enough, my fake-hate towards the one was more believable while I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the other. You would think actual disdain would translate well through acting but it doesn't. You can't work well with someone you don't like, and it's no different when it comes to acting. I was once cast as a romantic lead opposite a girl I absolutely could not stand and...well, you can imagine our onstage chemistry translated very well. I don't have any real advice for this dilemma, as I've yet to overcome it myself. And so I wish us both luck with that.

And so I hope most of this was helpful, or at least entertaining. As I'm only just getting into serious acting I'm sure I will be learning more and more lessons along the way. So good luck to you all as well, my fellow actors! As I once said in a play, "You already learned everything that is important. You've tasted glory -- Now, reach skyward!"

Until sometime,

Tyler

P.S. If you ever wanted to hear Tywin Lannister narrate Fifty Shades of Grey, it is indeed on Youtube.

Question I Honestly Need an Answer to:

What song(s) should I audition for The Voice with?